


Squad Goals To The Max

by NoItsBecky_127



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: #LetEvanCurse2k18, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, BI PEOPLE CAN BE IN M/F RELATIONSHIPS, BandTrees, Bisexual Chloe Valentine, Bisexual Christine Canigula, Bisexual Evan Hansen, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Broken Bones, Connor Lives, Crossover, Depression, Evan has ADHD I just decided, Everyone Has Issues, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Gay Jared Kleinman, Gay Michael Mell, Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jewish Alana Beck, Jewish Brooke Lohst, Jewish Evan Hansen, Lesbian Alana Beck, Lesbian Jenna Rolan, Let Evan Say Fuck, Lov the cronch, M/M, Memes, Michael is gay as hell, Mutual Pining, No Connor Project, Oh and Also, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Brooke Lohst, Pansexual Jake Dillinger, Pinkberry, Probably no Squip, SMOKING DRUGS, Social Anxiety, Suicide Attempt, Texting, The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman, They all deserve better, Vines, What are friends, Zoevan, and of course bi rich but that’s canon, boyf riends - Freeform, but also vaguely straight, but anyways, chat fic, connor might or might not show up at some point, does that even need to be a tag, everyone is trying, he's jared he's 17 and he never fuckin learned how to read, here have some fuckin sexualities, humor and angst, i'm jewish and starved for representation, idek, it's a DEH fanfic of course there's bone breakage, jared and jeremy are canonically jewish ofc, mental issues, mostly gay but zoevan is NOT neglected by any means, nobody is heterosexual, obviously, pansexual zoe murphy, richjake, seriously though, so like, sorry - Freeform, squad goals, this has been a psa, what are social skills, what is self-esteem, yeah - Freeform, you cowards
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 12:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14236830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoItsBecky_127/pseuds/NoItsBecky_127
Summary: Twelve people. One groupchat. This can only end in disaster, but they’re going to have some fun before it does.





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: As of June 17th, 2018, chapter 1 has been rewritten. Reading the rewrite is important, as it sets up the story differently.

**TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman** **has added EvanH, JazzyZoe, AlanaRocks, IAmHeere, MarshMellow, sbarrosguy, TheBiBiMan, lohstinspace, pinkberry, ILovePlayRehearsal, and theyseemerolan to The Ultimate Squad**

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:**  welcome to the squad my family friend, camp friend, sort-of friends, and friends by association

 **AlanaRocks:** Isn't it easier to just say friends?

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** yeah but its not as accurate

 **AlanaRocks:**...fair enough.

 **JazzyZoe:** Jesus Christ this chat just came into existence and idk most of these people and it's already a train wreck

 **theyseemerolan:** ok real talk what is this

 **JazzyZoe:** A train wreck

 **theyseemerolan:** I mean ok but more specific please

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** ok so

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** jeremy and i know each other from summer camp

 **JazzyZoe:** hOLY

 **JazzyZoe:** YOU ACTUALLY HAVE CAMP FRIENDS????

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** well

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** i have camp friend

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** its just that he has several friends and when i was all "hey i should introduce you to a couple peeps i know" he was like "cool and can you also add my many friends"

 **IAmHeere:** I'm still trying to wrap my heard around the fact that they didn't even know I existed

 **JazzyZoe:** Well he's mentioned you we just kinda figured he was making you up to seem cooler than he is (not very)

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** exCUSE YOU I AM INSANELY COOL

 **MarshMellow:** no shame in being a loser

 **AlanaRocks:** Anyways. There's a lot of us; should we do intros?

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** yea sure

 **TheBiBiMan:** lets do it

 **JazzyZoe:** Sounds good

 **AlanaRocks:** Well, I can introduce myself first. I'm Alana, I'm 16, she/her, I'm going to be a senior this year along with Evan and Jared, and I'm a lesbian. If you ever need homework help, I'm your girl! :)

 **sbarrosguy:** so we're doing the pronouns-and-sexuality thing, then?

 **AlanaRocks:** Sorry, habit. I'm president of the GSA at school, and we have a group chat, so I'm used to introducing myself that way when new members join it. Feel free not to do that, though.

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** what up im jared im 17 and i never fuckin learned how to read

 **EvanH:** Jared it's too early in this dhat's life for yoy to start memeing

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** oh hi tree boy

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** and its never too early

 **EvanH:** We're doing intros tjough

 **EvanH:** Do you really want their only base knowledge of you to bp a meme

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** fineeeeee

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** im gay i love the cronch and he/him pls

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** better???

 **EvanH:** Yeah

 **IAmHeere:** my name's jeremy, i'm 16, the squad and i are all gonna be juniors, he/him, and i'm p sure i'm straifht but you never know i guess? anyways i like video games, and i have GAD so be nice please?

 **JazzyZoe:** Of course Jeremy ^_^

 **IAmHeere:** Thanks

 **JazzyZoe:** I'm Zoe, I'm 15, I'll be a junior this year, she/her, I'm pan, I'm a musician (I play guitar in jazz band and I kinda know a bunch of other instruments), and I'd say I'm a fairly nice person so if you ever need to talk to someone I'm here

 **EvanH:** I'm Evan, I'm 17, he/him, I'm bi I guess, and I like trees

 **TheBiBiMan:** and apparently you need to learn how to type bc you've made about five typos in four texts

 **EvanH:** I'm mistly typing obe-handed, sorry

 **TheBiBiMan:** wait

 **TheBiBiMan:** are you fucking jerking off rn

 **EvanH:** nonono I'm not doing that!

 **EvanH:** I have a brojen arm

 **TheBiBiMan:** oh

 **TheBiBiMan:** um

 **TheBiBiMan:** shit

 **TheBiBiMan:** sorry man

 **EvanH:** It's finr, you didn't realize

 **MarshMellow:** welp the name's michael, i'm 16, he/him, i like music and if you find me w/o headphones something is probs wrong, and i like retro stuff particularly video games

 **MarshMellow:** also i tried pot once and now i'm the gayest gay to ever gay

 **IAmHeere:** michael you told me you were gay in eighth grade and we first tried pot in freshman year

 **MarshMellow:** exposed by my player 2

 **MarshMellow:** is this what betrayal feels like

 **IAmHeere:** the public deserves to know Michael

 **IAmHeere:** T H E Y D E S E R V E T O K N O W T H E T R U T H

 **MarshMellow:** fine

 **MarshMellow:** but you're an asshole

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** what did i just witness

 **sbarrosguy:** gay shit

 **IAmHeere:** I'm straight!

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** You were not yesterday. (Smirking Face )

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** did you just quote legally blonde at us

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** in my good christian household

 **EvanH:** Jared you're Jewish

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** whatever

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** anyways

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** legally blonde quoter

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** who are you

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** Well, I'm Christine, I'm 15, I use she/her, and as you can see by my username and musical quoting, I love theater! I have ADHD (mostly inattentive), so if I tend to jump between topics, that's why! :)

 **IAmHeere:** real talk christine is a literal ray of sunshine and better than all of us combined and if any of you hurt her I will fight you

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** thats so,,,,straight

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** What kind of bi erasure is this? :P

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** my apologies theatre girl

 **IAmHeere:** she has a n a m e

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** jer

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** buddy

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** pal

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** i habe know evan since our moms met at synagogue when we were four

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** and i still call him tree boy

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** im just not imaginative enough to think of better nicknames

 **IAmHeere:** I mean you could use real names

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** no

 **IAmHeere:** Can't argue with that

**To IAmHeere**

**MarshMellow:** i'm doing a 7/11 run before i come over, you want me to grab you anything?

 **IAmHeere:** wintergreen tictacs

 **IAmHeere:** duh

 **MarshMellow:** why do i even bother asking

 **MarshMellow:** anything else?

 **IAmHeere:** and a milky way

 **MarshMellow:** jeez, demanding much?

 **IAmHeere:** i literally pay you back for everything you get me

 **IAmHeere:** the only thing i'm being demanding towards is my own allowance

 **MarshMellow:** yougotmethere.gif

**To The Ultimate Squad**

**TheBiBiMan:** rich. 15. bi as hell. he/him. probably cooler than all of you.

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** bitch???

 **TheBiBiMan:** did i fucking stutter

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** I AM THE COOLEST

 **TheBiBiMan:** nah

 **sbarrosguy:** the name's jake, i'm 16, he/him, i'm pan and no i'm not attracted to cooking supplies, and sbarros is the greatest thing that can be found in any mall and if you disagree you are wrong

 **JazzyZoe:** Ok then

 **theyseemerolan:** does that just leave me

 **IAmHeere:** pretty sure Chloe and Brooke are getting froyo, so for now, yeah

 **theyseemerolan:** ok

 **theyseemerolan:** jenna, 16, she/her, certified useless lesbian, there is nothing stopping me from learning all your secrets so don't double-cross me, and i'm perpetually in need of coffee and hugs

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** same

 **sbarrosguy:** r/meirl

 **TheBiBiMan:** r/2meirl4meirl

 **IAmHeere:** literally all of us  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **lohstinspace:** so many messages! (Face With Open Mouth )

 **pinkberry:** While you guys were introducing yourselves we got froyo

 **pinkberry:** delicious.jpg

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** O_O

 **AlanaRocks:** Impressive. Any left over?  (Face With Stuck-Out Tongue )

 **lohstinspace:** depends on how fast you can get to pinkberry in new jersey.

 **AlanaRocks:** Dammit.

 **EvanH:** We're in New York

 **pinkberry:** No froyo for you then

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** well fuck you too

 **lohstinspace:** go buy your own froyo.

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** no

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** bring it to me

 **lohstinspace:** from new jersey???

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** yes

 **lohstinspace:** oh, you guys did introductions? that's great! i love intros! let's introduce ourselves!

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** i'll get froyo out of you someday

 **pinkberry:** Anyways, I'm Chloe, I'm 16, she/her, I'm bi, and I am a self-proclaimed 2018 version of Heather Chandler (except alive)

 **JazzyZoe:** fUCK

 **pinkberry:**???

 **JazzyZoe:** Nothing it's just

 **JazzyZoe:** Peathers has RUINED that name for me

 **theyseemerolan:** hOW DARE YOU SPEAK THE CURSED P WORD

 **JazzyZoe:** I'M S O R R Y

 **lohstinspace:** can i do my intro and then we can scream about the awfulness of peathers? or maybe avoid the subject forever?

 **pinkberry:** Alright, everyone shut up

 **lohstinspace:** thanks.

 **lohstinspace:** anyways, i'm brooke, i'm 15, she/her only please, and i'm pan! i'm kinda like duke to chloe's chandler, i guess, except she doesn't regularly tell me to shut up (thankfully). :)

 **JazzyZoe:** Okay, I'm voting to avoid the subject of Peathers forever

 **AlanaRocks:** All in favor of talking about Peathers, say aye.

 **sbarrosguy:** what is peathers???

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** Jake, you are a lucky, lucky man to have never laid eyes on Peathers.

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** it attempted to be heathers except they failed miserably bc the heathers were sjws but veronica was cishet white and blonde

 **sbarrosguy:** oh my g o d

 **MarshMellow:** ok so on that note let's never speak of peathers again

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** anyways i need to fix evans username

 **EvanH:** Huh?

**TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman has changed EvanH's nickname to Acorn**

**TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** better

 **Acorn:** I mean

 **Acorn:** Okay

 **theyseemerolan:** wait why is evan an acorn?

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** because he fell out of a fucking tree like one

 **pinkberry:** Hang on I thought he liked trees

 **Acorn:** I do

 **TheBiBiMan:** but you fell out of one???

 **Acorn:** I lost my frip

 **Acorn:** It wasn't the tree's fault

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** p sure he just jerked off too much and broke his arm in the process and felt stupid so he made up some bs about falling out of a tree

 **Acorn:** JARED

 **Acorn:** I wasn't doinhg thwt!

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** surejan.gif

 **JazzyZoe:** Hey Jared?

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** what

 **JazzyZoe:** Stop making fun of Evan.

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** k

 **MarshMellow:** wait pause

 **MarshMellow:** evan and zoe

 **MarshMellow:** are they dating?

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** yes

 **Acorn:**?wait no we're not

 **Acorn:** Jared don't misinform thrm

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** are ya sure

**To Zoe (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart)**

**Evan Hansen:** Sorry avout Jared

 **Evan Hansen:** He's an asshole spmetimes

 **Zoe (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart): **It's okay

 **Zoe** (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart) **:** I think he's just trying to mess with us anyways

 **Evan Hansen:** Yeah

 **Evan Hansen:** He does that s lot

 **Evan Hansen:** Sometims I can't reallt tell if he's joking

 **Zoe (Heavy Black Heart ≊ Red Heart): **Well, considering we're not dating (to my knowledge, anyway, haha) I'd say he's joking

 **Evan Hansen:** Lol yeah

**To TheUltimateSquad**

**MarshMellow:** jer i'm at your door open up

 **IAmHeere:** omw

 **pinkberry:** Just don't text us while you're super high again

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** again???

 **lohstinspace:** sometimes when they're high, they text us random shit their stoned minds thought of. it's um. quite an experience.

 **MarshMellow:** Nah we're not getting high today

 **JazzyZoe:** Oh thank God

 **TheBiBiMan:** what?

 **JazzyZoe:** Nothing I just

 **JazzyZoe:** I have mainly bad experiences with weed

 **JazzyZoe:** Well not FIRSTHAND experiences but

 **JazzyZoe:** It's complicated

 **sbarrosguy:** ok, that's fine

 **IAmHeere:** Sorry Zoe

 **JazzyZoe:** Don't worry about it, you guys didn't know

 **JazzyZoe:** Just

 **JazzyZoe:** Keep anything weed related out of this chat please?

 **MarshMellow:** ofc

 **JazzyZoe:** Thanks

 **JazzyZoe:** Anyways

 **JazzyZoe:** Let's change the subject

 **AlanaRocks:** Anyone else basically melting in this heat?

 **Acorn:** You can say yhat again

 **AlanaRocks:** Anyone else basically melting in this heat? (Face With Stuck-Out Tongue )

 **Acorn:** Lol I had that coming

 **lohstinspace:** in all seriousness, chloe and i were melting. then we got froyo.

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** still waiting on you to bring me some

 **pinkberry:** Give it up Kleinman

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** fine guess ill have to just cronch on this bathbomb

 **lohstinspace:** wait no

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** cronchedbathbomb.jpg

 **theyseemerolan:** bathbombs were not meant to be eaten

**TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman has removed theyseemerolan from The Ultimate Squad**

**TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** thats why you dont diss bathbombs around me

 **AlanaRocks:** She didn't even diss them, though. She just said they aren't food.

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** same difference

**lohstinspace has added theyseemerolan to The Ultimate Squad**

**lohstinspace:** leave my friends alone, jared. :(

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** fine but jennas on thin fucking ice

 **theyseemerolan:** i can't believe you would treat me, a lesbian, like this

 **theyseemerolan:** this is homophobia

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** im literally gay???

 **theyseemerolan:** t h i s i s h o m o p h o b i a


	2. This Went In About A Million Different Directions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend looking back at chapter 1; I revamped it and then made a few more lowkey edits after.
> 
> Also, Christine is bi now instead of aro/ace because I realized that she and Alana would be a super cute couple
> 
> I wrote 25% of this in an hour late at night so it's probably shit ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Acorn:** ohmygodthistreeisamazing.jpg

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** tree boy lives up to his nickname

 **pinkberry:** Um

**To Brooke**

**Chloe:** Shit what was tree dude's name

 **Brooke:** evan.

 **Chloe:** Ok thx

**To The Ultimate Squad**

**Acorn:** What?

 **pinkberry:** Evan it is like a hundred degrees why are you outside

 **Acorn:** Oh

 **Acorn:** I took that picture earlier today

 **Acorn:** It wasn't quite as hot then

 **pinkberry:** Seems logical

 **lohstinspace:** well, it's a cool tree! :)

 **Acorn:** Haha thanks

 **TheBiBiMan:** jeez you really do like trees

 **Acorn:** Yeag, that'ms kinda my thing

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** i have known this acorn since we were four and i can confirm

 **sbarrosguy:** guys my soda bottle is empty send help

 **sbarrosguy:** thisbitchempty.jpg

 **sbarrosguy:** yEET.mov

 **lohstinspace:** did you just chuck a soda bottle across your room?

 **sbarrosguy:** no

 **sbarrosguy:** i yeeted it

 **JazzyZoe:** Oh my God

 **JazzyZoe:** Is that Vine even alive anymore?

 **pinkberry:** Nobody knows

 **lohstinspace:** soda: empty

 **lohstinspace:** bottle: yeeted

 **lohstinspace:** dead vine: referenced

**lohstinspace has removed sbarrosguy from The Ultimate Squad**

**lohstinspace:** jake is forcibly removed from the chat.

 **pinkberry:** BROOKE N O

 **TheBiBiMan:** did you just fucking remove jake

 **TheBiBiMan:** not on my watch

**TheBiBiMan has added sbarrosguy to The Ultimate Squad**

**sbarrosguy:** did brroke remove me just to finish her meme

 **TheBiBiMan:** yeah

 **JazzyZoe:** Brroke

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** brroke

 **pinkberry:** brroke

 **Acorn:** Brroke

 **lohstinspace:** brroke?

 **sbarrosguy:** SHUT UP AT LEAST I DIDN'T SAY YALL

 **Acorn:** True

 **Acorn:** I say we pardon him

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** welp you heard the acorn folks

 **sbarrosguy:** yes! pardon me!

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** Are you Aaron Burr, sir?

 **sbarrosguy:** shit

 **IAmHeere:** That depends. Who's asking?

 **Acorn:** Whre did you guys even come from?

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** Oh, sure, sir. I'm Alexander Hamilton. I'm at your service, sir! I have been looking for you.

 **IAmHeere:** I'm getting nervous.

 **lohstinspace:** please don't do this.

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** Sir, I heard your name at Princeton.

 **pinkberry:** Stop

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** how much does your silence cost

 **IAmHeere:** ok I think we should stop

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** Okay, fine.

 **IAmHeere:** also I'm generous so it only costs 7k a month

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** what a fucking deal

 **Acorn:** Jeez, Jeremy, you're basically letting ys rob you XD

 **IAmHeere:** take the offer while it's there

 **pinkberry:** Maybe we should negotiate further

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** repeat that but in stupid

 **pinkberry:** Maybe we should get Jeremy to lower the price

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** thx

 **IAmHeere:** chloe

 **IAmHeere:** i am SHOCKED and OFFENDED

 **IAmHeere:** you are LUCKY that i am giving you ANY discount AT ALL

 **pinkberry:** You have a point

 **IAmHeere:** damn right i do

 **lohstinspace:** hey, should we send selfies to the chat?

 **lohstinspace:** like, just to give everyone an idea of what we look like?

 **lohstinspace:** and prove that none of us are catfishes?

 **Acorn:** Good idea

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** I'm in! :)

 **TheBiBiMan:** how about anyone who wants to send a pic sends, and anyone who doesn't…doesn't

 **sbarrosguy:** isawamansobeautifulistartedcrying.jpg

 **pinkberry:** According to whom

 **pinkberry:** You're not beautiful Jake

 **sbarrosguy:** don't crush my dreams

 **TheBiBiMan:** bidisaster.jpg

 **JazzyZoe:** TINY

 **TheBiBiMan:** bitch i am a perfectly respectable height

 **lohstinspace:** wait, is it just me or did zoe disappear there?

 **JazzyZoe:** Oh yeah, sorry

 **lohstinspace:** where’d you go?

 **JazzyZoe:** I’d rather not say

 **JazzyZoe:** Anyways Rich you’re tiny just accept it

 **TheBiBiMan:** >:(

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** flawless.jpg

 **JazzyZoe:** That is the cheekiest grin I have ever seen

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** ok but its a flawless one

 **JazzyZoe:** Okay sure

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** zoe ur mean

 **TheBiBiMan:** join the club dude

 **TheBiBiMan:** the "people whose selfies got insulted by zoe" club

 **JazzyZoe:** Rich I didn't insult yours

 **JazzyZoe:** I just pointed out that you're short

 **sbarrosguy:** and you are

 **TheBiBiMan:** this is biphobia

 **sbarrosguy:** i think we need another selfie to change rhe subject before we all kill each other through text

 **Acorn:** hi.jpg

 **lohstinspace:** is that ben platt???

 **Acorn:** No

 **pinkberry:** Oh my God he's Ben Platt

 **Acorn:** Um

 **sbarrosguy:** bEN?!

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** i mean theyre both nice jewish boys (tm) so like,,,,, it works

 **TheBiBiMan:** quick question ev

 **Acorn:**?

 **TheBiBiMan:** has anyone ever told you that you look like ben platt

 **Acorn:** Uh

 **Acorn:** Yes, actually

 **Acorn:** Four people

 **Acorn:** Just now

 **lohstinspace:** i feel called out.

 **sbarrosguy:** that's bc we just got called out

 **Acorn:** Sorry I just

 **Acorn:** In all seriousness, no, you're the first oeople who've ever told me rhat

 **Acorn:** But sorry if that was fude

 **sbarrosguy:** dw man

 **pinkberry:** You'd be surprised how many callout texts our chat has

 **Acorn:** Ok

 **pinkberry:** mythicbitch.jpg

 **JazzyZoe:** Nice

 **lohstinspace:** beautiful!

 **TheBiBiMan:** what so SHE gets positive feedback and i just get called tiny????

 **JazzyZoe:** yes

 **TheBiBiMan:** oh

 **lohstinspace:** tellmeimpretty.jpg

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** im gay but ur pretty

 **lohstinspace:** aw thanks :)

 **JazzyZoe:** mlm/wlw solidarity at its finest

 **JazzyZoe:** here have a selfie

 **JazzyZoe:** ignorethedarkness.jpg

 **TheBiBiMan:** ooh nice

 **pinkberry:** In telling me to ignore the darkness, you have only increased my curiousity as to why you're in darkness

 **JazzyZoe:** It's a long story that I'd rather not tell at the moment

 **JazzyZoe:** Maybe later

 **pinkberry:** Okay

 **pinkberry:** Well regardless of the darkness cute pic

 **JazzyZoe:** Haha thanks

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** what do you think evan

 **Acorn:** I think shevlooks great

 **JazzyZoe:** ah sweet validation from multiple people

 **JazzyZoe:** I love this chat

 **JazzyZoe:** Even though it's a train wreck :P

 **sbarrosguy:** hey where'd christine go?

 **sbarrosguy:** @ILovePlayRehearsal where are you

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** Oh, hey! Sorry, I've been studying my lines. I had a sudden burst of motivation, and when you get that, you need to cling to it, y'know?  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** true

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** I can pause long enough to send a selfie, though. :)

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** happybi.jpg

 **sbarrosguy:** look at our girl

 **sbarrosguy:** look at her smile

 **sbarrosguy:** look at her

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** i think im in love

 **lohstinspace:** you are a gay man.

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** i t h i n k i m i n l o v e

 **Acorn:** You look like a really nice person

 **pinkberry:** I'd tell you not to judge a book by its cover but…in this case the cover is entirely accurate

 **ILovePlayRehearsal:** Awww, thanks for all the love, you guys! <3 I should get back to my lines now, but I appreciate the kind words! ^_^ See you! o/

 **TheBiBiMan:** that was true solidarity

 **TheBiBiMan:** all of us coming together to compliment the pure one??? beautiful

 **JazzyZoe:** What do we do now

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** brooke youre good at changing the subject help

 **lohstinspace:** …was that shade?

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** irrelevant

 **lohstinspace:** okay, um. fun facts?

 **sbarrosguy:** sure

 **JazzyZoe:** I slept with a plushie of Gizmo from Gremlins until I was 13

 **TheBiBiMan:** and you STOPPED?!

 **TheBiBiMan:** howcouldyoustopsleepingwiththiscutie.jpg

 **JazzyZoe:** Pressure from society to be mature

 **TheBiBiMan:** ,,,true

 **TheBiBiMan:** well i nearly got the firefighters called at a party last year

 **sbarrosguy:** Do Not speak of that party

 **lohstinspace:** shut up and let me erase it from my memory.

 **JazzyZoe:** I need details

 **TheBiBiMan:** i dont know. i was drunk.

 **JazzyZoe:** I would hope so

 **sbarrosguy:** a n y w a y s

 **sbarrosguy:** i came out to my parents by holding up a pan and saying "i have one thing in common with this pan"

 **TheBiBiMan:** amazing

 **JazzyZoe:** I should've done that

 **Acorn:** I had an apprenticeship as a park ranger earlier this summer

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** then he fell out of a tree and that was the end of that

 **Acorn:** Can we stop talking about that

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** jeez sensitive much

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** welp in any case im like,,, weirdly good at tech stuff

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** i have skillz

 **pinkberry:** never say skillz again

 **JazzyZoe:** That's cool about the tech thing though

 **JazzyZoe:** Now I know who to call next time I need computer help

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** i Will require payment…i Am Not a free service

 **JazzyZoe:** Or not

 **pinkberry:** I read way too many of those "the signs as" things on Tumblr

 **Acorn:** Send us some

 **pinkberry:** Maybe later

 **Acorn:** ok

 **lohstinspace:** i really like drawing!

 **lohstinspace:** flowerart.jpg

 **sbarrosguy:** awesome!

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** well damn we have an artist here

 **lohstinspace:** well, i wouldn't say that. it's just a hobby. i guess i'm pretty good, though.

 **Acorn:** Yeah that's a great drawing

 **lohstinspace:** haha, thanks. here, have another one.

 **lohstinspace:** meandkarenart.jpg

 **lohstinspace:** it's me and my cousin!

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** looks realistic

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** not real but definitely realistic

 **lohstinspace:** it took a long time, i can tell you that much.

 **lohstinspace:** here's the photo it was basically a redraw of:

 **lohstinspace:** meandkaren.jpg

 **JazzyZoe:** You two kinda look alike

 **lohstinspace:** yeah, we do. she lives in chicago, though, so i see her approximately once a never.

 **lohstinspace:** we text sometimes, though.

 **lohstinspace:** or at least, we try to. she's, uh. not the sharpest tool in the shed. she's nice, though.

 **TheBiBiMan:** intelligence is unimportant in the long run, anyway

 **lohstinspace:** you're underestimating her stupidity. she once spelled orange with a d.

 **TheBiBiMan:** consider my previous statement rescinded

 **sbarrosguy:** i have no idea where this conversation came from or where it's going

 **pinkberry:** Same

 **Acorn:** Agreed

 **TheInsanelyCoolJaredKleinman:** mood

 **JazzyZoe:** Me too

 **lohstinspace:** i kinda do, but i mean…who ever knows what's going on here?

 **TheBiBiMan:** that's so sad alexa play despacito

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last bit with Karen was purely self indulgent bc I'm currently obsessed w/ the Mean Girls mysical ngl
> 
> (And no, I have no idea what happened at the very end. This fanfic is already a mess. I apologize in advance for how crazy it'll wind up.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll try to get the next chapter up in a reasonable time frame, but I can't promise anything, sorry. Please leave comments, authors thrive off them. Have a nice day!


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